It's NOT to be Applebee's

Last night some friends and I attended a pretty good musical starring a pretty amazing actress.  This isn't gonna be a review, but let's just say even in a community theatre setting, Audra McDonald is breathtaking.  She wasn't being paid.  She wasn't in a performance space remotely of the caliber of the places she's used to.  And yet she left nothing at home.  Whether it's Carnegie Hall or a benefit performance on a postage stamp of a community theatre stage, this consummate actress is a consummate professional.  Brava, Audra!

Afterward, my friends all headed out to Applebee's for a bite before going home.  Given the late hour, a full meal seemed unnecessary and inappropriate, so I opted for an appetizer.  Yeah, it's not gonna be the healthiest thing in the world but how bad can a quesadilla be?

Chicken Quesadilla Grande

Grilled chipotle chicken, melted cheese, crisp bacon, freshly made pico de gallo and a hint of chipotle pepper—all tucked inside two large flour tortillas and ready to wow your taste buds.

Perfect.  It has chicken, pico de gallo, and yeah cheese and bacon, but no big deal, right?   Wrong.  The second I bit into the first wedge of cheesy goodness, I should have known it was the wrong thing to order.  But it's a social situation...talk and munch and enjoy good food and great company.

Today I had the misfortune of mentioning the "meal" to someone with an iPhone.  In a matter of seconds he was staring at his screen and giggling.  "Do you want to know how bad that was?" he teased, "You don't want to know how bad that was.  You DO NOT want to know how bad that was!"  No, I do not.  Not last night, not now, and not ever.  He laughed and put the phone away.  But now I HAD to know.  So a quick internet search and I'm on the Applebee's website, perusing their nutritional information pdf...horrified.  The vast majority of appetizers on the menu are well over 1,000 calories.  Obviously appetizers are meant to be shared among the group, but even divided four ways, the 1,680 calorie Chili Cheese Nachos are a staggering 420 calories per person!  Even the considerably more moderate salad menu contains the 1,080 calorie Crispy Shrimp Caesar salad.

And the Chicken Quesadilla Grande?  1,440 calories, 90g Carbohydrates, 71g Protein, 87g Fat (including 37g saturated fat), and 4,060mg of sodium!  Again, even hypothetically split four ways that's 22g Fat (9g saturated) and 360 calories.  And I ate the whole damn thing myself.  It would have been better to swing by a burger place and get a double quarter pounder with lard.  And on the Applebee's dessert menu, even all but one of the desserts would have been considerably more healthy...or shall we say considerably less unhealthy.

Audra McDonald's performance took my breath away...eating at Applebee's is liable to stop my heart.

How humiliating!  How colossally foolish!  How could I think that anything on the appetizer menu is remotely healthy? Even the healthy sounding Spinach Artechoke Dip is between 1,400 and 1,600 calories!

In retrospect, I should have whipped out my phone and pre-checked the menu.  They DO have several health-conscious choices that look delicious.  But all shame aside, this is no reason to worry...this isn't a pattern of unhealthy living, it's a one-night detour from my new pattern of healthy eating.   It's not a major setback, it's a learning experience.  Lesson learned!  Know before you go!  A quick scan of the nutritional facts before ordering and healthy decisions are pretty easy.

Did I mention that Audra McDonald is amazing?