Metaphor of the day: If fat is currency, I'm going on a spending spree

So reading a blog or two...and a nutrition site or two...I've come to the conclusion that under normal circumstances, the body wants to function healthily.  The body is designed to be physically efficient.  Sometimes that works in our favor, sometimes not.  The last few weeks, it's been in my favor.  By fueling my body more appropriately, it's functioning better.  I think my body wants to be svelte.  Rar.

Of course, the body is also great at food storage.  Or in banking terms, it's a lot better at saving than I am.  Eat too much...exercise too little...and the body puts it all into a big savings account...an enormous savings account in some cases.  Now it's my job to go on a spending spree and blow through my "reserves."  Anybody know a place I can buy an iPad with fat?

10,316

The Wii Fit is a double-edged sword.  It makes daily exercise easy and fun, but on the other hand it makes daily weigh-ins awfully tempting.  I know I promised not to check in on the scale more than once a week, but the Wii practically does it for me.  So...since I've been weighing in daily by default, here are the results.  Remember they're unofficial because my "official" weigh-in is Monday.  Yesterday: up a pound.  Today: down 2.5.  Net change: down 1.5 pounds since Monday.  It's Wednesday.  Tomorrow I'll probably be up a pound or so and hopefully the next day I'll be down a bit more.  Seems right.  If I'm averaging a little less than a half pound a day, that's 3 pounds a week...which is totally appropriate...I think...

Maybe I should start blogging about food.

Yesterday for breakfast I had two English Muffins (Oroweat whole wheat), each with about a tablespoon each of almond butter and sugar free apricot preserves.  For lunch I had 3/4 of a Turkey Wrap with cranberry sauce and whatever else Smith's put in it.  And for dinner I made two chicken soft tacos in low fat whole wheat tortillas with grilled chicken breast, salsa, fresh avocado, and a sprinkling of shredded low fat cheddar.  Yup...way too light on the veggies.  I even had an apple I brought to work with me and promptly forgot.

Then, as usual, I walked everywhere I went.  To work...to and from lunch...and as an added bonus, home from the downtown train station.  According to google's gmap pedometer, it was about 4.4 miles total.  And my iPod nano's pedometer said I walked 10,316 steps.  No big gym workouts yet.  Just lighter eating, lots of walking, and 30 to 60 minutes on the Wii Fit almost every day.  That's gonna have to change soon to add a gym routine to my program. I'm thinking that while the Wii Fit is great for off-day training, it's time to add a regular weight routine at the gym (maybe 3 days a week doing a couple muscle groups each time?)

Within the next two weeks, I expect to be down a total of 20 pounds.  A couple more weeks and I'll be halfway to the iPad goal.  And I'm still not miserable.  Quite the contrary, aside from sore feet and a few achy muscles, I feel amazing.  

So here are a couple immediate and imminent goals: 1. Eat more fruits and veggies!  2. Go back to the gym.

A little more math

Okay, it's time to do some evaluation based on my progress.  I know...more math.  Stop whining.

From the time I started, I had a total of 22 weeks till my birthday.  Well, 22 weeks and a couple days.  At a rate of 2.5 pounds per week, that's 55 pounds.  Ambitious, but not too crazy.  Obviously, I've exceeded the 2 1/2 pounds per week goal.  So assuming that things taper off and my weight loss rate drops to an average of 2 pounds a week, I'll lose a total of 54 pounds.  So it sounds like the important thing to do is stick to the plan.  That's all.  And, while that's been the big challenge for me in the past, this time I have incentive.

A little side-note: if I'm able to stick to the 2.5 week average weight loss going forward, I'll exceed my goal by over 13 pounds.  And for kicks...if I can average 3 pounds a week (yikes), given where I am now, I'll lose a total of 73 pounds between July 5th and my birthday.  That's not a goal.  It's not even something I'm hoping for.  It's just the high-end possible bi-product of my workouts and healthy eating choices (aka diet) continuing to out-perform my expectations.

So I'll keep working at it.  I'm off to a great start, and it looks like I'll make or exceed my goal if I stick to the plan.

Week three progress report - and a conundrum

This week I started working out.  Not as a gym bunny, pumping iron six times a week...nothing drastic.  I just added an hour a day on the Wii Fit to my regular walking routine.  The first half hour I'll do a healthy mix of their yoga and strength routines...then I play the wii fit games.  But more on that later.  Anyway, I really feel great.  That's reason enough to keep going, so the weigh-in shouldn't be a concern.  Besides, I'm past the first couple weeks where the body adjusts to a new diet/routine, so I'm expecting the weight loss to slow down.

I spent part of the weekend in Park City, which meant two meals at restaurants.  The restaurants didn't allow for a lot of wiggle-room making health-conscious menu choices, but I did my best.  I ordered healthier-looking items and tried to make up for the excesses at the restaurants in other ways.  For example, Sunday morning I had the "Kitchen Sink Breakfast Burrito".  Yeah, sounds awful but it was really quite good.  During the meal, I skipped the sausage and sour cream.  Once I got home I made sure to work out, and for the rest of the day I ate lighter meals.

All things considered, it was with some trepidation that I stepped on the scale this morning.  Coupling the two meals this weekend with a projected tempered weekly weight loss, I wasn't expecting much improvement.  Granted, I'm working out more, but that's just been the last half of the week.

The results?  This week I lost four pounds.  FOUR POUNDS!  I checked and double-checked.  Even stepped onto the Wii Fit to have it verify the scale's reading.  So far, I'm down 16 pounds...meaning 34 pounds to my goal.

So hear's the conundrum:  A healthy weekly weight loss is between 2 and 3 pounds.  I'm not sure what the consequences of more rapid weight loss are, but I'm sure it can't be good.  The thing is, I'm not going hungry.  I haven't been miserable at all in the process.  And most of all, I don't feel unhealthy--especially compared to the way I felt in June.  Most likely the unexpected weight loss is directly related to the additional exercise in my routine.  Maybe it's another bump that will taper off like the first week's rapid loss.  Who knows?  Actually, I'm really interested...is there anyone reading this who knows what might be going on?

Here's my thought.  Unexpected loss one week may just be a fluke.  Perhaps I was a little dehydrated this morning.  Could be that the workout nudged my body a little overboard.  Probably the best thing to do would be to see how I do next week and evaluate (or reevaluate) my strategy based on next week's results.  Periodic scrutiny is always a good idea anyway--even if only to verify that I'm on the right track.

Above all, I feel great.  And I think that's a pretty good indication I'm going in the right direction.

Stay strong...

Today I reeeeeeeally want to order a pizza.  It's not that I'm starving.  Not that I need junk food.  Just that it sounds sooooo good.  But this weekend I've already eaten two less-than-healthy meals during my time in Park City.  Aaaaand tomorrow is my weigh-in.  Even if it doesn't put on any weight, all the crap in it will have me absorbing water and skew the weigh-in tomorrow.  I'm not expecting a huge loss this week, so I can't really afford to give in.  Besides, I'm off Domino's till after my birthday.

Thanks for talking me down off the ledge.  Sensible dinner, here I come!

Week two progress report

It's been an emotional roller coaster of a week.  Ups, downs, loops, twists...makes a fella want to barf.  Don't worry, this post isn't about an easy but totally inappropriate bulimia joke.  Since I'm pressed for time, I'm gonna acknowledge that there is a lot I need to report from the last few days and skip right to the weekly report.

This morning, after one hopeful but woefully over-the-top scale reading, the scale settled on a number.  A number that, ignoring the mid-week scale crisis, read THREE POUNDS DOWN from last week's weigh-in!  You heard (read) me right, since last Monday I've dropped another three pounds.

Total weight loss so far: 12 pounds.

Happy Campers on this program: one.  Me!

A tiny tailspin

Remember last week when I cursed my bathroom scale?  Apparently my bathroom scale IS actually cursed.  Okay, I know you're not supposed to weigh yourself more than once a week...and my last weigh-in was only two days ago...but that day was such a good day and the weight has been melting away and I didn't weigh myself yesterday and one little peek won't hurt...

So I did it.  I weighed myself again today.  Down another six pounds.  Wait, what???  That MUST be wrong.  Move the scale and step on again aaaaand....."down six" changes to "up two."  Ha!  I knew it, it's just the early morning "wake-up scale" grogginess...slide the scale across the floor a bit and the next one will be accurate...  Up two.  Okay...one more try.  Up two.  Again.  Up two.  Again.  Up two.  Again.  UP TWO????  The scale seems convinced that I've gained two pounds since Monday.  I stop breathing.

Okay, this could be any number of things.  Maybe I was dehydrated on Monday and the 9 pounds from before should have actually been 7.  Maybe my intake yesterday was a little too high in sodium so my body is holding onto water.  Maybe...  The mind races and inevitably comes to all the worst-case scenarios.  Maybe it's not working.  Maybe I'm doing it all wrong.  Maybe the sky is falling.

Or maybe I shouldn't hop on the scale as often.

Look, the rapid progress is as exciting as a slight "setback" is depressing.  But really, both are essentially meaningless.  It's difficult, but I need to stop taking the scale so seriously.  Yes, this whole challenge is built around what the scale says, but that's only because it's a quick and easy way of measuring progress.  But it's also a woefully incomplete way of measuring progress.

There is absolutely no reason to get down about relatively minor fluctuations in scale readings.  If this is about a lifestyle shift, my weekly weigh-ins (and they probably should only be weekly) should function as tools to plan the upcoming week's activities.  I've got to remember it's an assessment and a planning tool, not a scoreboard.  And I've got to pull out of this morning funk.

So here's the plan:

1. No more mid-week peeking.  This HAS to be a strict rule.  
2. Today's fluctuation means nothing.
3. Because today's fluctuation means nothing, it changes nothing about my goals.  The plan is the same.
4. Buck up, little camper.  You've had an hour to wallow, now make a plan and move on.
5. Gym anyone?

Yes, it's probably a reaction to the stupid scale this morning, and yes, there is no reason to freak out about it...but I kinda feel like I should start going to the gym.  Initially I planned to use walking as my physical activity for the first week or two.  At the end of week one, perhaps out of laziness, I decided one more week and I'll start hitting the gym.  But the 3/4 mile walk from the bus to work today was lovely.  The mile yesterday was easy.  And my ankle is almost completely free of soreness from the 2 3/4 mile walk I took last Wednesday...    

I remember an installment of Dan Savage's podcast where he spoke to a man who was overweight and lonely.  Dan talked about moderation and taking care of your body and all the things you'd expect him to say...then he mentioned that when he "indulges" he makes a point of working a little harder in his physical routine to balance that out.  Eat dessert?  Take a walk after dinner.  Something to balance things.

Part of me feels like I should be working harder.  I know it's crucial not to minimize the progress thus far, but can I do something to push harder without burning out?  Balance, I know.  Patience, yes.  But part of me just wants to do SOMETHING!  

When I start a new gym routine (in other words, when I've not been to the gym for a while and I finally get off my butt and start going again,) I typically give myself a week doing light circuit training to get my body used to working out again.  Maybe that's the "something" I should do.  Nothing overwhelming.  No huge exhausting workout that's gonna leave me immobile for three days.  Just a little more effort to balance the perception of a nonexistent minor setback.

Balance.

And no more mid-week scale peeking!

Vultures and The Donut Rule

At work there's a rule.  It may be the most sacrosanct of all the rules in this organization.  It's called The Donut Rule.  "If you are more than three minutes late to staff meeting, next week you owe us donuts."  In truth, nobody in the meeting is personally inconvenienced much by another person's tardiness, so logically it would seem that reparations (if absolutely necessary) should be paid to the company rather than the meeting attendees.  But logic has no bearing where donuts are involved.  At three minutes and one second after meeting's start time the (we) vultures lick their (our) lips.

Due to the close proximity of Einstein Bros. bagel shop, donuts also often come in the form of bagels.

Last week, not one but two members of the staff fell prey to the dreaded three-minute rule and this morning a large box of bagels and a tray of sumptuous pastries temptingly adorned the table.  To make matters worse, this morning I woke up and ate breakfast an hour early.  So with my digestive system functioning an hour ahead of usual, I spent the meeting eying the feast and considering whether I could afford a mid-morning snack and if so, which route I should choose.

According to the nutritional info Einstein's website, a their bagels contain between 260 and 350 calories and two tablespoons of cream cheese adds 60 to 70 calories to that.  Essentially we're talking between 320 and 420 calories that I hadn't factored into my daily intake if I go with a bagel.  And assorted pastries...I almost don't even dare consider!

Being aware that bagels are pretty hearty fare but not having the exact figures at my fingertips, I felt it appropriate to be suspicious.  So after the meeting I examined the pastry tray for something that wasn't shiny or drizzled in frosting.  And there it was: a lovely blueberry scone.  Lightly dusted with powdered sugar and much healthier looking than the tastier treats on the tray.  Mind you, it's not a "Utah scone"...the delicious deep fried dough ball named in Health Magazine's 50 Fattiest Foods In The States.  Being from Utah, that's what pops to mind when someone says scone.  No, it's the European variety.

After a quick internet search I've just learned that depending where it came from, this type of scone is probably between 160 and 460 calories, the heftiest version being Starbucks' Blueberry Scone.  Making an educated guess, I can assume that the tray came from somewhere else, but I don't feel comfortable assuming the nutritional content is any different than the Starbucks worst-case-scenario.

In hindsight, the bagel vs. scone choice may have been moot, but hoping that I'd made the best choice under the circumstances, I cut the scone in half, blew the dusty powdered sugar into the garbage can, and took my mid-morning snack back to my office.  While it's possible the scone rivaled a half bagel with cream cheese,  the simple decision to control portion size is a liberating one.  It's important to listen to our bodies.  I was hungry, but a half scone took the edge off.  I could have easily eaten the whole thing, but what for?

I've always, with some amusement, watched people cut a sliver of something where I would normally just eat the whole thing.  There's something supremely gratifying about greedily consuming the whole thing...whatever that thing is.  Whether it's a saucer-sized apple fritter or the biggest piece of pie, more is better.  And with the invention of single-serving snacks, eating the whole thing is a no-brainer.  But why?  Why is it better?  Is it because we're hungry?  Usually not.  So many of the foods that are easiest to recognize as unhealthy are the unnecessary additions to an otherwise healthy diet.  Do we need dessert?  Nope.  Definitely not for sustenance.  So when we occasionally choose to indulge in a decadent treat outside of our meals, is there any rational reason to succumb to the urge to gobble down as much of it as possible?  None whatsoever.  It's just an urge.  A habit.  Maaaaaaaybe something instinctual.  But not rational.  So if you must go to the pastry shop, buy the smallest fritter instead of the biggest.  At a fancy restaurant, share your dessert.  And after staff meeting, split the scone.

Week One: First "official" progress report

This morning I "officially" stepped on the scale for the "first" time since last week.  Yeah, I know...I've been on the scale almost every day since last Monday, but this is the first official weigh-in, so shut it.

Anyway, I hopped on the scale and was pleasantly surprised to see I'm down quite a bit.  I double-checked just to make sure.  Sure enough, it registered the same.  Then, knowing my scale is prone to weirdness, I stepped off, moved the scale a couple inches, and hopped on again again.  The scale registered a weight down by two pounds more!  So I stepped off and back on to double check...and the scale confirmed the second weight.  Again I stepped off, moved the scale a bit one last time, and stepped back on...back up a pound.  The point is, in the six times I weighed myself this morning, the scale said I'd lost eight, eight, ten, ten, nine, and nine pounds.  So I think the only logical thing to do is to.......add them all together and announce that I've lost 54 pounds in the past week (8+8+10+10+9+9=54!)  Yay!  All done!  Of course that'll be hard to explain next time I hop on the scale...or even next time I do up my pants.  Fine.  It makes sense to me to average 'em out.  My official weigh-in for week two is -9 pounds.  41 pounds to go.

Here's what I'm thinkin':  Week one was a great test.  I think I started a pretty good pattern of healthy eating, but there are a myriad of things I could do better (or just differently.)  As for exercise, I pretty much walk everywhere I go, so not counting a couple extra walks, I was active but didn't really increase my exercise.  And I had a pretty sedentary weekend.  The rapid week one weight loss is clearly a result of my body adjusting to a healthier diet.  BUT given the fact that I'm consuming far fewer calories than before and adding my plans to increase my physical activity, I'm thinking that a couple pounds a week is easily achievable.

So now here's a little math: the final Monday check-in before my birthday is 21 weeks from today.  41 pounds, divided evenly over 21 weeks is 1.95 pounds a week...1.90 pounds, if you include the extra half week between Monday (Dec 6) and my birthday (Dec 9.)  Assuming a little extra physical activity will bump me up to a steady loss of between 2 and 2 1/2 pounds a week, I could conceivably lose as much as 52 1/2 pounds between now and my birthday...or a total of 61 1/2 pounds on during the whole challenge.  Definitely something to consider as I plan the coming weeks.

For now, to be safe, I'm leaving the official goal at 50 pounds by my birthday.  It's still ambitious and like I've said, the goal isn't important, it's the lifestyle change.  Still unofficially, I'm shooting for 60.  We'll see how my body adjusts in the next couple weeks and decide whether to make it official.  Regardless, it's been a good week and a fantastic learning experience.

Happy Week Two!  Wish me luck!

It's NOT to be Applebee's

Last night some friends and I attended a pretty good musical starring a pretty amazing actress.  This isn't gonna be a review, but let's just say even in a community theatre setting, Audra McDonald is breathtaking.  She wasn't being paid.  She wasn't in a performance space remotely of the caliber of the places she's used to.  And yet she left nothing at home.  Whether it's Carnegie Hall or a benefit performance on a postage stamp of a community theatre stage, this consummate actress is a consummate professional.  Brava, Audra!

Afterward, my friends all headed out to Applebee's for a bite before going home.  Given the late hour, a full meal seemed unnecessary and inappropriate, so I opted for an appetizer.  Yeah, it's not gonna be the healthiest thing in the world but how bad can a quesadilla be?

Chicken Quesadilla Grande

Grilled chipotle chicken, melted cheese, crisp bacon, freshly made pico de gallo and a hint of chipotle pepper—all tucked inside two large flour tortillas and ready to wow your taste buds.

Perfect.  It has chicken, pico de gallo, and yeah cheese and bacon, but no big deal, right?   Wrong.  The second I bit into the first wedge of cheesy goodness, I should have known it was the wrong thing to order.  But it's a social situation...talk and munch and enjoy good food and great company.

Today I had the misfortune of mentioning the "meal" to someone with an iPhone.  In a matter of seconds he was staring at his screen and giggling.  "Do you want to know how bad that was?" he teased, "You don't want to know how bad that was.  You DO NOT want to know how bad that was!"  No, I do not.  Not last night, not now, and not ever.  He laughed and put the phone away.  But now I HAD to know.  So a quick internet search and I'm on the Applebee's website, perusing their nutritional information pdf...horrified.  The vast majority of appetizers on the menu are well over 1,000 calories.  Obviously appetizers are meant to be shared among the group, but even divided four ways, the 1,680 calorie Chili Cheese Nachos are a staggering 420 calories per person!  Even the considerably more moderate salad menu contains the 1,080 calorie Crispy Shrimp Caesar salad.

And the Chicken Quesadilla Grande?  1,440 calories, 90g Carbohydrates, 71g Protein, 87g Fat (including 37g saturated fat), and 4,060mg of sodium!  Again, even hypothetically split four ways that's 22g Fat (9g saturated) and 360 calories.  And I ate the whole damn thing myself.  It would have been better to swing by a burger place and get a double quarter pounder with lard.  And on the Applebee's dessert menu, even all but one of the desserts would have been considerably more healthy...or shall we say considerably less unhealthy.

Audra McDonald's performance took my breath away...eating at Applebee's is liable to stop my heart.

How humiliating!  How colossally foolish!  How could I think that anything on the appetizer menu is remotely healthy? Even the healthy sounding Spinach Artechoke Dip is between 1,400 and 1,600 calories!

In retrospect, I should have whipped out my phone and pre-checked the menu.  They DO have several health-conscious choices that look delicious.  But all shame aside, this is no reason to worry...this isn't a pattern of unhealthy living, it's a one-night detour from my new pattern of healthy eating.   It's not a major setback, it's a learning experience.  Lesson learned!  Know before you go!  A quick scan of the nutritional facts before ordering and healthy decisions are pretty easy.

Did I mention that Audra McDonald is amazing?

Breakfast made obscenely simple

Guess what came in the mail yesterday!  No, I get my bills via e-mail.  Guess again.  Yes, there was a pile of advertising malarky, but that's not what I was talking about.  No, Grandma didn't send me a birthday card...she knows my birthday isn't for another five months.  You really suck at this game.

My new fancy toaster came in the mail yesterday!  It toasts bread/bagels/english muffins AND it hard boils and poaches eggs!  Yeah, it rocks.  I tested it out last night, with moderate success.  So this morning, I got up, popped in an english muffin and 1/4 cup or so of egg beaters, and went back to getting ready for work!  Here's what it looked like:

Notice the cute little "sidecar" where a tasty egg-substitute patty and some lean roast beef are cooking/warming.

When the egg is nearly done...exactly the amount of time it takes to toast an english muffin...the toaster kicks in.  Aaaand when the toast pops up, voila!  It's all done!


Here are pictures of the sandwich being assembled and anxiously waiting to be eaten:

As you can tell, life as we know it is over.  Breakfast has been revolutionized.  Here's the breakdown:

Oroweat English Muffin:
150 Calories
2 g Fat
27 g Carbohydrates
6 g Protein

1/4 cup Egg Beaters:
30 Calories
0g Fat
1g Carboyhdrates
6g Protein

Lean Deli Sliced Roast Beef:
90 Calories
3g Fat
1g Carbohydrates
15g Protein

Total:
270 Calories
5g Fat
29g Carbohydrates
27g Protein

Add a multivitamin, a banana, and two glasses of water, and I'm all ready to go for the day!

In other news, I hopped on the scale before breakfast.  Down six pounds from Monday.  Understanding that this is the "first week super-fast weight loss" and it's mostly water and it won't last forever, there's some real satisfaction in knowing that two pounds a week from here to my birthday and I've made my goal.  Mind you, this is unofficial.  The official weigh in will happen next Monday.  But this is still a lovely boost.

Beans

Today I'd like to talk a little about beans.  It's not gonna be a sermon soy beans as a source of protein or the fiber content of green beans or the restorative properties of some funky jungle bean...although if you know of some funky jungle bean that will drop fifty pounds for me, I'm all ears.  But no, today we're gonna discuss counting beans.  Shortly before I jumped into this, while I was in the preparation stages, I did a little math.  Yes, I can do math.  With a calculator.  And a spreadsheet.  And a jar of beans.  And a highly trained monkey who does the math for me.  Except she tends to eat the beans, which may have affected the outcome.  Anyway, several days ago I mentioned there were a bunch of other things that occurred to me in the planning phase of this program.  Today I'm gonna share a big one.

So let's talk turkey...or beans.  Say we live in a world where the currency is beans.  You go to work and every couple weeks they give you a sack of beans.  You pay your taxes in beans.  You send the electric company a little box of beans every month to keep the power on.  You go to the grocery store, load up your shopping cart with healthy food (except beans because they're money), and toss the cashier a handful of beans on your way out.  Scrooge McDuck has a huge vault filled with beans that he likes to swim in.  On his show Glenn Beck bursts into tears and tells his viewers to invest in beans.  Periodically the national treasury releases a new limited edition bean commemorating the moon landing, a great president, or another state's statehood and all the nation's vending machines have to be re-calibrated because the new bean weighs slightly different than the last edition.  You get the picture.

Every morning on your way to work, you swing by the corner convenience store for your daily diet coke and maybe a granola bar or power bar or something snacky.  It costs you about 2 or 3 beans.  Then at lunch because you didn't pack a sandwich, you run to a nearby Schlubway for a sandwich, chips, and a soda.  Another 4 beans.  Assuming that you're trying to be judicious about your dinner every day and make something healthy, that cost factors into your weekly grocery bean budget, and doesn't count here.  But say every Saturday you splurge on a delicious pizza (or two) from Shmominos.  Add in a 2 liter diet coke, breadsticks, and a tip for the delivery guy and you've forked out about 15 beans.  (Now would be an appropriate time to note that given the current state of the economy, the dollar to bean ration is clearly not one to one...in case you are scratching your head and cursing my fuzzy math.)

Let's say your birthday is exactly 22 weeks from today.  (Five months from tomorrow, but since December 9th (the joyous day) falls on a Thursday, it's exactly 22 weeks from Thursday, July 8th.)  Every week you spend roughly 17.5B (17.5 Beans) on soda, 28B on lunch, and 15B on Shmominos.  That's 60.5B every week, give or take, and a whopping 1,331B you will eat (i.e. spend on crap food) between now and your birthday.  Assuming that an iBean, the magical device you so desperately want but can't justify, costs about 250B.  Do you realize that in the next five months, you're gonna basically eat five iBeans in junk food?  FIVE!

According to the statistical data I just made up, fixing a meal at home costs about 1/4 the price of fast food for lunch...and that's eating pretty nicely at home.  So, for the next several months, you're gonna skip the pizza, cut back on the soda by half-ish, and bring your lunch from home at least 3 times a week.  And when you DO eat at Schlubway, you're gonna skip the chips and soda and limit yourself to a healthy 6" sandwich and a glass of water.  According to my super-scientific calculations, verified by the helper monkey just before she ate all the beans, in this very reasonable situation you're saving enough to buy an iBean and still have 700 beans to put in the bank...or feed to your helper monkey.  And this INCLUDES the extra grocery money you'll be spending for real food.

It's a no-brainer.

22 Weeks and a major revelation

My birthday, December 9th, is the second Thursday of December.  Exactly 22 weeks from today.  50 pounds divided by 22 weeks comes out barely more than 2 1/4 pounds a week.  Totally doable.  Especially in the light of this little nugget of information.  Remember my diatribe against pizza yesterday?  Well, two pizzas plus breadsticks ("Cinna Stix®" actually) work out to a whopping 5,760 calories!  Even spread out over 3-4 meals in a weekend, that's between 840 and 1,320 EXTRA calories per meal.  Meaning if I eat 3-4 nice, filling, healthy meals instead of pizza, I'm saving between 3,360 and 3,960 calories a week!  Here's the kicker: There are 3,500 calories in one pound of fat.  Conventional wisdom says that in order to lose (or gain) a pound of fat, you must either subtract (or add) 3,500 calories from your diet.  Ignoring all of the physiological factors that play into weight loss...ignoring exercise...ignoring the healthier diet choices I'm making in the rest of my life...from a purely "calories in" perspective, this one change will amount to a pound a week--possibly more.

Note to self: Unsubscribe

You know those e-mails you get from all the delivery places?  The ones from Dominos with the pictures of all the tasty, tasty junk food and the deal too good to pass up so you absolutely HAVE to get their fabulous 2X Tuesday deal and systematically cram two large pizzas into your body over the next three or four meals...  Well, a single slice of Dominos's (Domino's? Dominos'?  Dominos's's's?  I'm pretty sure it's Dominos's, but that just looks silly.)  Anyway, a single slice of their 14" pepperoni pizza is about 300 calories.  Assuming that you're able to exercise the willpower to spread it over four meals, that's still four slices per meal or 1200 calories...totaling a whopping 3600 calories a day.  And if you add the drink and breadsticks special or grab an extra slice or two at dinner...YIKES!  Who the hell do you think you are?  Michael Phelps?

Yeah, right down at the bottom of those e-mails is a little tiny link that says "unsubcribe."  Done and done.

*Note to anyone reading this blog other than me: I assume I'm the only reader, so when I say "you", I mean me.  Don't get your panties in a bunch.  I'm sure you have more willpower in the pizza department than I do.  Be warned, however, if you come for dinner next Tuesday, we won't be having pizza.

A word about bathroom scales:

BOO!

Really I don't think I need to say any more.

Okay, I don't hate the scales as much as all that.  Where bathroom scales are concerned, I tend to fall somewhere between suspicious and indifferent.  But I did a mid-week "hop on" this morning and found I was down 3 1/2 pounds.  Interestingly, from the time I did my "official" first weigh-in at the first of the week (during my early morning dash to the restroom) till the time I actually got up (at 11) I gained a half pound.  But since it seems appropriate to weigh in first thing in the morning, I'm sticking with the initial measurement.  

From experience, I know that weight fluctuates from day to day--even hour to hour.  In the first week or two of a new diet, body weight can adjust dramatically--mostly because of water.  So I'm not gonna let this two-day miracle go to my head any more than I'll let a less-than-stellar weigh in get me down.  The important thing to remember is that it's not the pounds, it's the lifestyle adjustment that matters.  And the iPad.

Avocado: Nature's Sandwich Lube

Today's lesson, kids, is on how to make your sandwich go down smoothly without loading it up with disgusting fatty mayonnaise, or as I like to call it "sandwich snot."

Two words: Avo. cado.  Okay, that's two parts of a single word, but you get my drift.  If you've been reading my blog...you're likely the only one.  Kidding. I read it too.  So that makes two of us.  As I was saying, if you've been reading my blog you know that the fast food thing is a big stumbling block for me.  So, because my big healthy grocery shopping trip is tonight, today for lunch I dropped by the Subway a block from the office and got a 6" Turkey sandwich on wheat.  Looking back on it, I should have opted out of the cheese because it didn't do much for the flavor, but here's how I had them build the sandwich: American cheese, avocado, lettuce, tomatoes, olives, pickles, and banana peppers.  I'm thinking next time maybe we'll have them add cucumbers.

Warning: Number Crunching Ahead (skip to the last couple sentences of this paragraph for the summary)
According to their website, the sandwich with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, and green peppers contains 280 calories, 3.5 grams of fat (1g saturated), 47 grams of carbs, 18 grams of protein.  The cheese adds another 40 calories, 3.5 grams of fat (2g saturated), 1 gram of carbs, and 2 grams of protein.  While Subway doesn't list avocado on their website, according to www.nutritiondata.com, 1/4 cup contains 60 calories, 5.5 grams of fat, 13 grams carbs, and a little under 1 gram of protein.  Add in a 1.5 oz bag of Sun Chips and we're looking at a 627 calorie meal with 81 grams of carbs and 25 grams each of fat and protein.  And the fat is the good avocado kind.  Nummy.

I could go lighter.  The Sun Chips are nice and all, but not actually necessary to feeling satisfied after the meal.  Maybe a better route would have been to take them back to the office with me for an afternoon snack.  Also, not having done my big grocery shopping spree, I didn't have fruit for breakfast so I ended up drinking a whole bottle (15.2 oz, two servings) of Naked's Green Machine fruit and whatever makes it green juice.  Algae maybe?  Swamp water? Who cares, it's tasty.  But spendy.  Fruit would be better.  And look less like toxic goo in a bottle.

So a couple pieces of fruit - one with breakfast, one for a mid-morning snack with a piece of string cheese or something else protein-y.  Then save the Sun Chips for a mid afternoon snack...or skip 'em altogether and grab a small handful of almonds to take the edge off if necessary.  But by and large I'm not that far off...I think.  Currently I'm a little over 1200 calories for the day, and a light dinner will likely put me around 1800, give or take.  And that's a major reduction from the norm.

Soda Update: In case you were wondering, I haven't decided what to do with the soda intake yet, but I skipped the soda this morning and brought a water bottle to work instead.  I did have a diet coke with lunch, but after lunch it was back to the water bottle.

Day one...

July 5th.  Today I start in earnest.  I have a handful of things to report about my prep work, but those will have to wait till another blog post.  I want to talk a little about breakfast today.


Today is the "state observance" of Independence Day...meaning July 4th fell on a weekend so we're all taking a day off anyway.  It seems a great day to start--not only because there's no time like the present, but also it's a day off!  So I slept in till 11.  Okay, not all the way to 11, but breakfast didn't happen till lunchtime.  Oops.  But not to worry, I jumped in with both feet...well, I grumpily shuffled in with both feet.


Breakfast consisted of a 100% whole wheat English Muffin made by Oroweat, 1/4 cup egg whites cooked with non-fat cooking spray, two slices of lean roast beef, a sprinkle of cheese, and a cup of Naked Green Machine juice from the 7-11.  Here's the breakdown according to http://www.sparkpeople.com/:

Calories: 417  Carbs: 60g  Fat: 7g  Protein: 32g

Not a bad start.  The breakfast cooking won't work for a typical work morning, but it was a lovely meal.  Clearly a trip to the grocery store for real fruit is in order ASAP.

When all was said and done, despite the lack of variety in my refrigerator, after entering everything on sparkpeople.com I was within their suggested range for calories, fat, carbs, and protein.  Went a little over in the sodium department and woefully under in potassium.

What's most remarkable isn't necessarily what I ate.  In fact, that's pretty unremarkable.  It was the awareness and lack of guilt.  There are some things about the day's eating that I should have done differently.  So tomorrow's another day.

**UPDATE**
I've done it.  I've discovered the solution to the "healthy breakfast sandwich vs. work day time constraint" problem!  A fancy-shmancy toaster.  Available on Amazon.com for about $30, this toaster will rock my world...or at least my breakfast...if it works...I'll report back once it arrives.

Weigh-in disclaimer

I'm sure you've noticed an embarrassing lack of actual weight figures.  I've decided that for modesty's sake (and because I'm just not ready to be THAT forthcoming) I'm not gonna put that up...yet.  Maybe someday.  Definitely at the end of the challenge...perhaps before...but not yet.  Since I've set a weight loss goal, the progress will have to suffice.  So every week I'll update my progress in the side bar.  For now that'll have to suffice.

T-minus fifty pounds and counting...

Happy Independence Day

Today I'm declaring my independence from 50 pounds of fat.  Well, I'm declaring my impending independence.  So there.  More importantly, I'm declaring my independence from a collection of vicious cycles and mindless habits.  I'm in control.  I choose what I eat, not the other way around.  So I choose to eat healthily.

This weekend I have been enjoying the company of my enormous family and their (ahem) exuberant children.  I had the pleasure of seeing both my parents, every one of my siblings, every one of their spouses, and every one of their children.  Let's do the math:  Two parents + five siblings + five spouses + five, three, one, and three children = twenty four lunatics converging on one spot.  Throw grandma and me into the mix, and that makes twenty six (goofy rhyme unintentional.)

It's insane, and insanely fun.  This has truly been a fantastic weekend.  Moreover, I had the opportunity to tell several family members about my plans.  A couple laughed.  One made fun of the iPad: "It's just a big iPod Touch...blah blah nyah nyah waaaah."  Yeah, I turned my brain off after the first part.  Still everybody was extremely supportive.  In fact, my mother chimed in with a generous offer to "underwrite" $100 of the cost of the iPad if I can make my goal by my birthday.  Thanks, mom!

What's important about the weekend is accountability...although I guess I should call it moral support.  The more people who know, the more people who are expecting me to succeed...and the more people who I'll have to look in the eye and offer an explanation if I fail.  Oh the shame!  The shaaaaaame!  I shall be forced to wear a scarlet letter...a very wide scarlet letter...  But I digress.  So that's why I've told my family.  And that's why this blog is public.

One of my brothers piped up skeptically, "Is this like the time you were gonna run a half marathon and you were all excited for, like, two seconds then you bailed?"  He makes a valid point.  And quite frankly, I'd love to be in the kind of shape where I can run a half marathon.  And who knows, maybe if I can get there by my birthday, I'll be in a place to actually train for and run the half marathon next spring.  But the end result isn't the reason for this challenge.  Dropping 50 pounds, picking up an iPad, writing a silly blog...none of it is really as important as the paradigm shift I'm trying to make.  In a very real way, this is a matter of life and death.  Granted, not life and death-in-the-very-near-future, but life and a much-accelerated end, accompanied by a much lower quality of life than I could be enjoying.  The mindset that includes eating right and exercising as part of a full and happy life--that's the reason I'm doing this.  The smaller clothes, fewer aches, increased energy, better sleep, and yes, the iPad...those are all icing on the cake.  Low-fat icing on the sensible portion of cake that I split with one of the kids rather than devour in one bite.  Yeah, that.

So Happy Independence Day.  In every amazing sense of the word.

A couple guidelines

I've identified some of the trouble spots and have made a short list of eating guidelines.  Nothing earth shattering, just a handful of healthy modifications.  The list is open to additions, and I would love to hear suggestions.

1. Limit fast food, and when it's unavoidable, make health-conscious menu choices.
This is a big thing for me.  Because I'm single and don't regularly cook for others, it's so much easier to grab fast food for lunch and dinner.  Granted, dinner is a little more flexible so I don't eat out for dinner as frequently as lunch, but when I do it's almost always much less healthy than a quick trip to Subway for lunch.  Additionally, I've noticed the unhealthy stuff tends to be less filling...or at least it tends to leave me craving more.  On the other hand, I'm not as likely to feel "munchy" after a more sensible meal.  So I'm gonna try to bring lunch from home more often, make healthy lunch choices when I do eat out, and for dinner...avoid fast food altogether.

2. Cut back on the soda--and keep skipping the sugary stuff
Okay, this is tricky.  I do like my soda.  And frankly the sugary stuff doesn't agree with my stomach.  So besides all the artificial ingredients that are probably embalming my body alive, I don't see this as a huge thing.  That said, I must admit I do drink too much soda.  I'm aware that there is some discussion about the chemicals and their adverse effect on the body...I'm also aware of the line of thinking that says the artificial sweeteners are making us expect things to be sweeter than they actually should be.  But one step at a time here.  I'll have to give this some thought.  Maybe limit the soda to meals...or give myself a daily cap.

3. Don't snack in front of the television
The mindless eating has got to stop.  Seriously.  It is so easy to open a bag of something and completely polish it off while watching television.  So no eating in front of the TV.  I know that's a little harsh and that many people can eat sensibly in front of the TV, but there's some kind of psychological expectation that develops when one frequently eats while watching TV.  So for now, eating is eating and TV watching is TV watching and the two are mutually exclusive.

4. Include fruits/vegetables with every meal
This isn't difficult.  It's not unpleasant.  It just takes planning.

Actually, none of these things are actually THAT hard or unpleasant.  It's all a matter of turning my brain on while I eat.  As long as I'm conscientious about my intake, none of this will pose a major problem.

First post...the challenge

Alrighty folks, it's time.  I've been watching the iPad commercials from the sedentary comfort of my living room, and I must admit, I covet myself a new gadget.  Here's the catch: I'm already waaaaay too inert to warrant the additional couch potato-hood that will no doubt accompany the addition of an iPad to my immobility-inducing distractions.  After a long day at work (sitting behind a desk), it's pretty easy to grab fast food on the way home and plop down for the rest of the evening in front of a mind and time and momentum-sucking device for the evening.

Do I really NEED another excuse not to move?  Not remotely.  Moreover, the patterns sedentary living and unhealthy eating I've developed over the past months (years) have added more pounds to my frame and girth to my midsection than I care to divulge.  Now I've never been a particularly svelte fella.  Ever.  But in recent months I've noticed a plethora of physical nuisances.  Perhaps passing the mid-point in my thirties has taken its toll on my body...but the aches, shortness of breath, fatigue, and other signs of age are no doubt exacerbated by excess weight.  Besides, my damn clothes don't fit right, if at all...and I'm too proud to bump everything up a size yet again.

As much as I want the new toy, I don't think I can afford it.  Physically.  At least not yet.

In a recent once-over at the doctor's, I learned that almost everything me is borderline.  My blood pressure...borderline high.  My cholesterol...borderline high.  My blood sugar levels...pre-diabetic (a sobering term.)  My weight...well, let's just say that the borderlines in the weight department are the kind a cartographer draws on a globe...yeah that part's out of control.

But "borderline high" is just barely above the upper edge of "moderately okay."  Good news, right?  I'm not a lost cause.  No reason to abandon hope--everything is reversible.  I may survive yet!  Just a handful of conscientious adjustments coupled with a half a lifetime of persistence and I'll be good as new.  Well good as a healthy 36 year old.

Bottom line: I need to drop 50 pounds.  I want to (ought to, and hope to) drop more, but I NEED to drop 50.  And until I've done that, I can't justify the iPad.

So here's the deal.  We have just hit the mid-point of the year.  26 weeks till 2011.  And since my birthday is just a couple weeks before the end of the year, I figure at a healthy rate of 2 to 3 pounds a week, I can drop 50 pounds by my birthday.  And my birthday present to myself?  A lighter healthier me...and an iPad.  If and only if I drop the 50 pounds.

This weekend I am drafting the plan, outlining the changes I need to make and how I plan to implement these changes.  My guess is it won't be anything drastic--just portion control, healthy substitutions, and exercise.  No fad diet.  No crazy off-the-hook expectations.  Just a lifestyle adjustment.  A re-focusing on healthier habits.  A paradigm shift.  That's all.  And a new gadget to look forward to.

I start Monday.  Wish me luck.